Um...Asteroids movie?

[Darryl B.]

Weird...

"Asteroids" lands at Universal (Reuters)
Source: Reuters
Thu Jul 02, 2009, 9:34 pm EDT

LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter) - Universal Pictures has won a four-studio bidding war to pick up the film rights to the classic Atari video game "Asteroids."

Matthew Lopez will write the script for the feature adaptation.

In "Asteroids," originally released as an arcade game in 1979, a player controlled a triangular spaceship in an asteroid field. The object was to shoot and destroy the hulking masses of rock and the occasional flying saucer while avoiding smashing into both.

As opposed to today's games, there is no story line or fancy world-building mythology, so the studio would be creating a plot from scratch. Universal is familiar with such a development process: It's in the middle of doing just that for several of the Hasbro board-game properties it's translating to the big screen, among them "Battleship" and "Candyland."

Lopez came out of Disney's writing program and worked on that studio's recent movies "Bedtime Stories" and "Race to Witch Mountain." He also wrote the most recent draft of "The Sorcerer's Apprentice," currently in production with Nicolas Cage and Jay Baruchel starring.

Lemme guess, it'll star some hotshot that doesn't go by the rules, nearly gets his ass killed, pisses off his higher-ups, and it'll have a lot of cgi in it. (rolls eyes)

This can't be good, can it?

[Rob]

This has got to be a joke...

What's next, Pong The Movie? Seth Rogan and Andy Samberg as "the paddles" and Sasha Baron Cohen as "the ball"?

[Darryl B.]

Heh...they were supposed to have done a Pac-Man movie for years and years too.

[Zap!]

I'm sure Michael Bay will find a way to make it suck. Oh wait, it sounds like it will suck no matter who directs it. Seriously, Asteroids? I'd rather see a Centipede movie.