A candy story

[Zap!]

THE CANDY WRAPPER

It was another Payday and I was tired of Mr. Goodbar. I saw Miss Hershey
standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue
when I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, "hey Sweetheart, how'd you like
to Crunch on my big hunk for a Million Dollar Bar?" Well, she immediately
went down on my Tootsie Roll, and it was like pure Almond Joy! I couldn't
help but grab her delicious Mounds because it was easy to see that this
little Twix had the Red Hots. It was all I could do to hold the Snickers and
Crackle as my Butterfinger went up her tight little Kit Kat and she started to
scream "Oh Henry,Oh Henry!" Soon she was fondling my Peter Pan and ZagNut
and I knew it wouldn't be long before I blew my Milk Duds clear to Mars that gave
her a taste of the old Milky Way. She asked me if I was into M&M, but I said,
"hey Chicklet, no kinky stuff." I said "Look you little Reese's Pieces, don't be a
Zero, be a Lifesaver. Why don't you take my Whatchamacallit and slip it up your
Bit 'O' Honey?" (What a piece of Juicy Fruit she was, too!) She screamed,
"Oh Crackerjack, better than the Three Musketeers!" as I rammed my Ding
Dong up her Rocky Road and into her Peanut Butter Cup. Well, I was giving it to
her Good 'N' Plenty, when all the sudden...my Starburst! Yeah, as luck would
have it, she started to grow Chunky and complained of a Wrigley in her stomach.
Sure enough, nine months later, out popped...........Baby Ruth!